E for Exceeds Expectations

When Ethan was a baby, I deemed him a "spirited" child. "Spirited" is code for into everything, needing lots of attention, always on the move, et cetera, et cetera. Then somewhere during Ethan's second year, his personality shifted, and he became much more like the Ethan we know today. A rule follower, a risk avoider, a shy guy, a gentle soul - that's our Ethan. Or at least, and I hate to admit typecasting my child, that's how I pegged him. But Ethan's been surprising us of late. Suddenly (or maybe not so suddenly - maybe we just missed the transition), he is ready for more action.

This shift became particularly apparent this past weekend, when we introduced Ethan to cross-country skiing and snow tubing in the same day. Before we left to go skiing, I was warning my Dad that we might not be out there for long, that I expected a few minutes of trying to ski before the whining and begging to go home commenced. My Dad replied, "But didn't he surprise you when you took him ice skating the first time? Didn't he do great?" And I recalled that yes, that was true, he did surprise us and he did do great. With a renewed promise of success, Ethan and I set out on his maiden voyage into what were the worst possible ski conditions. It was solid, crusty, dirty, solid, did I mention solid?, ice. The poor kid fell about five hundred times. But did he whine? Did he beg to go home? Quite the opposite - Ethan kept begging for more, asking to "do it myself", and assuring his skeptical mom that he was having "so much fun". Huh, surprised us again.

After a much-deserved and necessary nap, we decided to bring Ethan along to the snow tube park that afternoon. Now this is no novice sledding hill - this is a serious, thrill-inducing descent. We took the magic carpet up to the top, and Ben and I stood back and watched my Dad take Ethan down for the first time. We looked at each other, shook our heads, and worried that this might traumatize Ethan forever. After closing my eyes and holding my breath, I launched myself down that same hill, screaming and dragging my feet the whole way. I was sure there would be a sobbing boy at the bottom, running to Mommy for comfort. But no, there was a gleaming boy, smile ear to ear, running towards the magic carpet to do it again. Huh, surprised us again.

Now, I still don't see daredevil-dom in Ethan's future, and I'm pretty sure his base personality remains much more straight and narrow than wild and crazy. But I do wonder if he's ready for more than we give him credit for. I wonder if our expectations for him have been too low, if we've been (gasp) holding him back? I do know that we've been casting him in a role in our family that's not always exactly right, that it's good for him to break the rules every once in awhile, that it's healthy for him to step outside his comfort zone and spread his wings. His newfound confidence and comfort in his four-year-old skin makes me so happy, even if it means he needs me less and distances himself from us more. I'll be here to catch him when and if he does fall, kiss his bruises, and push him to get up and try again.

My big boy at the dentist this morning - no cavities and first x-rays. The hygenist did say she had never seen a four-year-old sit so still for x-rays before, so I guess there is still a lot of that same old Ethan in there.