My Big Boys

The other night, the boys were having a particularly good time in the bath together, splashing, and laughing, and "swimming", and just full of childhood glee and brotherly love.  And I found that pesky thought creeping into my head..."how much longer?".  How much longer are these two going to take baths together?  How much longer are they going to want to be together every minute of every day?  How much longer until growing bodies and independence and moods make private showers with doors closed the norm?  I try not to let the "how much longers" dwell in my psyche for more than a minute or two, since they bring with them so many emotions that keep me from being right here right now.  But I had to travel down that path for a minute the other night, and came to the sad realization that it probably won't be much longer now, at least for this one vestige of little kid-dom.  That I had to grab my camera and memorialize it, just in case.

We all know that this whole parenthood thing goes by far too fast.  We're first told this the moment we announce our expected arrival, and we're reminded of it on a regular basis by those who have walked this path before us.  "It all goes so fast...Cherish every moment...It'll be over before you know it," they say.  And so we try our hardest to slow that darn clock down, to soak it all in, to hold onto every experience.  But we can't.  Our kids keep growing.  Faster and faster, it seems, and as they do, the memories of the weight of their tiny bodies in our arms, or of the sound of their baby giggles and first words, or of the smell of their baby skin, or of the exact feeling of seeing them for the very first time...these fade away just a bit.  One day, we try to pick someone up and realize we can't any longer.  All of a sudden, they don't quite fit on a lap comfortably.  Our of nowhere it occurs to us, with both pride and pity, that our children can handle many challenges and upsets on their own now, without the need to run to us for help and comfort.  And just like that, they're big kids.  And while big kids bring with them a whole new slew of fun and wonder and joy and fulfillment, every once in awhile, I really miss my little kids too.

It's all going by far too fast.