Soon after Ethan started daycare back in the summer of 2008, we became familiar with the infamous "incident report". The boys' school also has an "accident report" but this is far less infamous and the two should not be confused. The "accident report" informs you that your poor child was a victim of some sort of accident, like falling off a slide or bumping his head on something. The "accident report" also tells you if your child suffered at the hands of a bully, getting bitten or hit or pushed (even if it wasn't an "accident"). But the "incident report" is far less benign. It is meant to inform you that your child is the bully. It details the nature of the crime, whether it was provoked (somehow, provocation makes it a little easier to swallow the fact that your kid clocked another kid on the head with a firetruck), and what punishment was delivered. At pick-up, you must review and sign the incident reports - I have no idea what happens to them after that point, but I am guessing there is an over-stuffed file folder of incident reports somewhere labeled "Stockwell".
When Ethan was in the 1-2 year room at Toddle Inn, there was a period of time when we would have to sign (I kid you not) at least 3 incident reports every day. (We think) frustrated by his inability to communicate, Ethan had a penchant for sinking his teeth into his friends when he was sad, mad, excited...you name it. When he moved up to the 2-3 year room, these biting incidents magically passed. Now, his preschool teachers cannot believe the legends they hear about Ethan, the gentlest, most empathetic kid in the class.
But now there's Adam. He made it through the 1-2 year room with a zillion accident reports (this kid should really wear a permanent helmet with the number of times he bonks his head), but ZERO incident reports. We exhaled big sighs of relief and declared victory at having raised a non-biter. Then he moved up to the next room and all hell broke loose. The incident reports started coming fast and furious and we would hold our breath at pick-up every day, fearing news of how many nibbles our little monster had taken out of his friends. One day, there were no incident reports to sign, so I asked his teacher, "No incidents today?" She replied, "Oh he bit two or three kids, but nothing bad enough to write up an incident report about." Great. So the 2-3 incident reports we sign per night actually reflect significantly more incidents?! Sigh.
Well, the good news is that we were incident-free this week for the first time in I don't know how long. It was not for lack of trying - I think Adam's teachers have just gotten good at spotting when he is about to strike and intervening. But I'll take it. When I picked the boys up tonight and saw Adam's teacher coming at me with a form, I sighed and my shoulders sank in defeat. But no! It was only an accident report - I guess he decided to tumble with the wrong kid today and got a little taste of his own medicine.
While I feel for the little guy, it is SO much easier to be on this side of the fence.
3 comments:
That is so flipping hysterical. Thanks for the laughs. Little Adam looks tough but hopefully isn't worse for the wear.
Too funny. I do remember when when Ethan used to get all those incidents reports - and to think about it now makes me laugh. How quickly these little personalities change once they find other ways to express themselves.
Maybe he's turned a corner? I thought Oliver had too, but he tried to take a bite out of his little friend on Wednesday afternoon. Ah two.
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