And the Beginning of a New One

In December of 2006, we were at a Christmas party, my belly full with a nearly-here Ethan, and I was talking to one of Ben's colleagues about her experience sending her oldest child off to kindergarten that fall.  She had tears in her eyes as she described how hard it was to put her kid on the bus, and how she trailed it all the way to school to be sure her daughter made it safely and looked happy.  I remember thinking, "Wow...crazy lady."  I was not yet privy to the emotions of motherhood, the instinctual, almost animalistic need to protect one's children.  Fast forward to a few weeks ago, when the reality of actually putting Ethan on a bus and watching it drive away from me became clearer.  Suddenly, this vision was terrifying to me, as was the idea that I would not personally deliver him to his room, talk to his teacher, etc. on a daily basis.  Hearing how neighboring school districts encouraged parents to ride with their kindergartners on the first day only heightened my fears.  Of course I would have to trail behind the schoolbus!  Of course I could not simply watch my firstborn climb aboard a bus on which he would know NO ONE, driven by someone he's never met, to a strange place, and not do something to make it easier for him!  Suddenly, the crazy lady seemed a lot less crazy.

But then today arrived.  Ethan awoke extra early, very excited for his big day.  We were finished with breakfast by 7:30, and then there was the loooong wait until we could walk to the bus stop at 8.  Even with picture-taking and last minute backpack checking and rechecking, the minutes seemed to drag by.  I was nervous, and I sensed some nerves in Ethan too.

Finally, it was time to head out and wait for the bus.

There were some older kids there, waiting for the middle school bus, and another kindergartner with her parents.  We passed the time talking to them and taking pictures.

And then, all of a sudden, that big yellow bus rounded the curve, and a gigantic smile lit Ethan's face.  I had to ask him for a hug before he bounded aboard, so quickly that I missed that quintessential kindergartner boarding the bus shot!  Not a moment of hesitation, just pure confidence and excitement.  He waved from the window, with that huge smile still plastered across his face, and just like that, he was gone.  Adam asked to be carried home, and as I snuggled him to my chest, a few (just a few!) big fat teardrops rolled down my cheeks.  But they were mostly happy tears, proud tears, tears of relief that at least this very first step was so easy.

I should not have expected anything other than an easy transition for Ethan.  Since he started pre-kindergarten last fall, he has been enthusiastically awaiting the real deal.  Any mention of kindergarten over the summer brought a gleam to his eye and a wide grin.  Yesterday, he and I spent the day preparing for this momentous occasion.  We met with his teacher, whom he nearly tackled in his eagerness to get into his new room and check it all out.  Then we did some back-to-school clothes shopping,went out to lunch, and picked out special things to pack in his lunchbox at the grocery store.

We laid out his first day outfit (a thirty second activity - I think this is much different for girl kindergartners), packed his lunch (complete with a note from Mommy, which I read to him so he would actually know what it says today), and put everything together in his backpack.

We baked banana chocolate chip muffins - a treat from home to remind him of the fun we had on our day before kindergarten.  

And we went for our very first run together - a whole mile around the neighborhood.  Throughout the day, I asked him how he was feeling about kindergarten, whether he had any questions or worries, wanting to head off any potential bus stop breakdowns.  But I couldn't detect a bit of concern in my almost-kindergartner.  Just pure, unbridled excitement, and joy that his big day was almost here.

As much as I've enjoyed our quiet house today, I am counting down the minutes until that big yellow bus makes its way around the bend again.  I'm still nervous, hoping that Ethan's day lived up to his high expectations, that he made some new friends, that he wasn't worried or scared, that he likes his teacher, that the bus was fun...I could go on and on.  Because that's what we moms do - we worry.  That crazy lady's daughter will have started sixth grade this year.  I wonder if she ever still gets that urge to follow the bus.

And because going back to preschool is just as important an event, here's our mini-munch on his first day yesterday.

And this morning at the bus stop.

I think he'll be pretty excited to hear about big brother's day too.