My Big Boys

The other night, the boys were having a particularly good time in the bath together, splashing, and laughing, and "swimming", and just full of childhood glee and brotherly love.  And I found that pesky thought creeping into my head..."how much longer?".  How much longer are these two going to take baths together?  How much longer are they going to want to be together every minute of every day?  How much longer until growing bodies and independence and moods make private showers with doors closed the norm?  I try not to let the "how much longers" dwell in my psyche for more than a minute or two, since they bring with them so many emotions that keep me from being right here right now.  But I had to travel down that path for a minute the other night, and came to the sad realization that it probably won't be much longer now, at least for this one vestige of little kid-dom.  That I had to grab my camera and memorialize it, just in case.

We all know that this whole parenthood thing goes by far too fast.  We're first told this the moment we announce our expected arrival, and we're reminded of it on a regular basis by those who have walked this path before us.  "It all goes so fast...Cherish every moment...It'll be over before you know it," they say.  And so we try our hardest to slow that darn clock down, to soak it all in, to hold onto every experience.  But we can't.  Our kids keep growing.  Faster and faster, it seems, and as they do, the memories of the weight of their tiny bodies in our arms, or of the sound of their baby giggles and first words, or of the smell of their baby skin, or of the exact feeling of seeing them for the very first time...these fade away just a bit.  One day, we try to pick someone up and realize we can't any longer.  All of a sudden, they don't quite fit on a lap comfortably.  Our of nowhere it occurs to us, with both pride and pity, that our children can handle many challenges and upsets on their own now, without the need to run to us for help and comfort.  And just like that, they're big kids.  And while big kids bring with them a whole new slew of fun and wonder and joy and fulfillment, every once in awhile, I really miss my little kids too.

It's all going by far too fast.

Counting Days

Time always seems to slow waaay down around this time of year.  March is probably my least favorite month (despite it containing the birthday of one of my most favorite people, which happens to be today - Happy Birthday Tom!).  It's that in-between time, when we're all getting a little sick of strapping on the winter gear and standing out in the cold, but yet when true spring seems so.very.far.away.  Another foot or so of snow on Tuesday didn't help matters much, as the grass (or mud, really, let's be honest) that we were just beginning to see is now once again blanketed in white.  It hardly seems possible that we will be hunting for Easter eggs in just over a week.  So around this time, we all get a little stir crazy, ready for warmer weather, for the ease of going outside without boots and snowsuits, for open windows and fresh air.  My stir craziness manifests itself in spring cleaning and cleaning out, as evidenced by the multiple trips I've made to Goodwill this week.  The boys' stir craziness manifests itself as running in circles and bouncing off walls.  Literally.  But betwixt and between mandatory closet clean-outs and the umpteenth game of chase, we've been:

Building colorful snow forts

Growing beards

Practicing our snowboarding

Building snowmen

Celebrating the 100th day of kindergarten

Going on safaris, complete with a journal to note the animals we see 

Plowing through our Valentine's Day candy stash to make room for an anticipated replenishment at the end of the month (as an aside, this picture was taken for Daddy's benefit - whenever something cool happens while Daddy is at work, Adam wants me to take a picture to show him later - it's our compromise as Adam would much prefer to run up and tell Daddy himself)

Having a tea party to celebrate Dr. Seuss' birthday

Reading and reading and reading some more (Cute story - Last night the boys lost their story time [due to the aforementioned bouncing off walls].  After we had tucked them in and left the room, I heard Ethan quietly reading Adam stories from the top bunk.)  

Thinking of warmer days as we begin garden planning

Doing lots and lots of puzzles (and photographing the finished products)

And counting down.  Every morning, we've been counting down the days to: spring (check, allegedly), Easter, and our trip to Florida.  This weekend, we'll enjoy one more wintry getaway to Bridgton, where we'll strap on our skis and our skates for a final goodbye to winter.  Once properly ushered out, I expect it to stay there, at least for the next 8 months or so.

Happy first full day of spring!

Ski Bunnies

For the last few years, I've been wanting to introduce our boys to the wonderful world of downhill skiing, but for one reason or another, it hasn't quite happened.  So this year, we marked a weekend on the calendar, booked a room at the Duck House (why had we never thought of the Camden Snow Bowl before?), called in the experts-in-taking-small-children-skiing, and made it happen.

Here we go...
(Note Daddy's skis and boots, circa 1985.)

The first hour or so was dicey - Ben and I were peeling off layers of clothing as we repeatedly tried to wrangle two wet noodles into the upright position and keep them there.  We were quite happy to turn said wet noodles over to willing and significantly more patient ski instructors so we could actually get out of the perma-wedge and take a few runs on our own.  We would peek on our little learners from the lift - sometimes chuckling, sometimes grimacing, but mostly looking at each other and saying "wow - look!  he's doing it on his own!".  Ski instructors are kind of amazing.  We returned to find two "skiers" who could ride the surface lift and make it down the bunny slope all by themselves, with big smiles to boot.  

After a refuel (skiing=hot chocolate and fries!  hurray!), we spent some more time on the bunny slope, where the boys had their ups (perfect turns between cones all the way down) and downs (taking out the fence at the bottom of the hill instead of stopping).  Despite obvious fatigue, Adam refused to quit, insisting that he was having fun while all the while sobbing and burying his face in the snow.  

Daddy finally called it, giving Mommy and Ethan a chance to do what Ethan had been begging to do all day - ride the chair lift!  

I wasn't certain he was ready, and recalling numerous chairlift mishaps of my own when I was just learning to ski, I was nervous the whole ride up.  But Ethan aced the dismount and proceeded to have a fantastic first run down the mountain.  Both boys (and their parents) deemed Day 1 of Operation Learn-to-Ski a big success.

Since that first outing, Ethan and I have had an opportunity to ski together two more times.  One was the very next day, when everyone else was tuckered out but Mr. I-Will-Prevail-Until-I-Master-It insisted he wanted to ski again (and again and again).  He and I had a great time trying out all the blues off the lift at the Snow Bowl.  Then just this past Monday, I picked him up at school and we snuck off to Shawnee Peak for a few hours of skiing before bedtime.  I'm not sure what I expected, but I am amazed by how quickly he's picked the whole thing up.  While he's still slow and cautious (both good things), he really doesn't hold me back much at all.  In fact, I can't tell you how many times I heard "C'mon Mom!" on Monday.  This is going to sound selfish, but it's really nice when your kids get to the point where they aren't slowing you down, or forcing you to cut back or compromise your activities, but instead can get out there and fully enjoy them with you.  And watching them successfully tackle something new, with surprised pride and renewed self-confidence, has always been, to me, one of the most exhilarating experiences of parenthood.  Our family's entree into skiing went far better than we could have ever expected, and I am happy to report that I see a few more trips to the mountains in our future.

Winter Break

Now back to that February vacation.  We have definitely found it challenging to adjust to the public school calendar this year.  Previously spoiled by childcare that is always available, we are realizing that we cannot possibly take a day off every day that Ethan has a day off.  Then there are late starts and snow days and sick days...not to mention 12 weeks of summer vacation!  Needless to say, it presents a scheduling challenge for working parents.  That being said, Ethan looks forward to his vacations with so much excitement and it's clear he really needs that downtime.  As much as he is loving kindergarten, all that learning and growing is exhausting, and a break is welcome and needed for our little guy.  So we have been very lucky to have been able to rely on ready and willing grandparents to jump in and invite Ethan to sleepovers so Mom and Dad can work, thereby avoiding daycare vacation camps (for now) and giving Ethan a chance to relax and enjoy his vacations. 

So while we had to work last week, Ethan got to spend some quality time over at Grandma and Grandpa's, where he skated and snowshoed and skated and did puzzles and skated and watched movies and skated.  Can you tell that our Ethan is loving skating these days?  And while we wish we could have spent the whole week having fun like he did, we were able to bookend the vacation week with two fabulous weekend getaways.  President's Day weekend was spent at Grandma and Grandpa's, where we participated in every winter sport imaginable (including fine dining and hot tubbing - those count as winter sports too, right?) and enjoyed lots of cousin time with Caz and Ella. 

Rub-a-dub-dub, three men (and a little lady) in the tub

Our timing was perfect, as our trip coincided with a winter festival at Five Fields Farm, just down the road.  We were about the only people there on a gorgeous snowy day, which meant we got to hog the outdoor firepit and have the s'more supplies all to ourselves.

In addition to tasty treats, there was sledding and snowshoeing, including a fun "run" for the kids who were interested (all three of them).

Fuzzy but cute picture of two of my favorite boys

Riding backwards makes sledding even more thrilling!

Back at the house, there were snow forts to be built...


snow piles to slide down...

and many, many stories to be read in the "Kids' Korner".

The weekend was chock full of fun and food and family and left us jonesing for some more cousin time at the lake this summer.

Fast forward to the following weekend, and a 180 degree change of scenery.  From snowy Maine to the streets of the Big Apple!

Adam practicing his pose for New York's Fashion Week?

I like to call this "airport TV".  It amazes me how much entertainment can be had watching planes land, be serviced, and take off again.

The boys love packing for any trip that involves an airplane (or any old trip really).  This year, they were excited to bring their new cameras to capture their trip to the big city.  On Saturday morning, I awoke to Ethan snapping photos out our hotel window and he was attached to that camera all weekend long.  He did get a couple of cute shots that he brought to "show and tell" at school yesterday.  This is one of them:

When we are in Central Park, the boys' Maine roots come out - they run, run, run...

and climb the nearest mountain they can find.

When planning our Manhattan adventure this year, we presented the boys with several potential activities.  The idea of visiting a for-real live battleship got big thumbs up all around, so after brunch at Uncle Pauly's apartment on Saturday, off to the Intrepid Air and Space Museum we went.

Future fighter pilots

On the bridge

Another thing that the boys really wanted to do was to visit the Empire State Building.  We substituted Top of the Rock, a closer, less crowded, and cheaper option, with what I would argue to be an even more spectacular view.

Though I love my country life, this skyline thrills me every time

I think it may be time to give up on family portraits...

Between our two adventures, we also squeezed in a trip to Peter Pan Day at the Childrens' Museum and a couple of playdates with friends we hadn't seen in awhile.  When all was said and done, I think Ethan had a great vacation week.  Thanks again to Grandma and Grandpa for our winter getaway and childcare coverage, and to Noni and Papi for our Manhattan adventures!

A Moment

We have lots of fun to report from last week's February vacation (Ethan's, not the rest of ours')...probably a couple posts worth of family and trips and adventures.  Those will come, I promise, but tonight I just want to capture today.  Because this is what we woke up to this morning: 

Really, now, does it get much more spectacular than that?  (And kudos to Ben for capturing this beauty, on his iPhone no less!)  So lucky am I that it happened to be a Monday, and on Monday mornings I volunteer in Ethan's classroom (but not until 11ish) and therefore have childcare for Adam, and voila!  I had a rare and blissful opportunity to strap on my snowshoes and take a (top ten, no joke) walk in the woods.  Many factors converged to make this a most memorable walk (until the last part, when I somehow got myself a little lost and ended up on a road two miles from where I'd parked my car...that part was, well, memorable nonetheless).  Something about the brilliant sunshine, the intense blue sky, the majestic trees bowing under the weight of the heavy, pristine snow, and the quiet that only a Monday morning can bring...it was a moment.  So while I walked, I tried not to make lists, not to plan ahead, not to mull over old conversations, not to think about the future, but to just be.  To use every one of my senses to take that hour in in all its glory, understanding its unique and uncommon beauty.  It was joyful.  And while I *tried* not to write in my head while I walked, I couldn't help but think of a few other things I am savoring right now - a few other "moments" I want to imprint in my memory to take with me always.  Like:

• The quiet shuffle of Adam's feet as he makes his way into our room each morning, one hand around horsey and the other in his mouth.  The sweet way he asks "Can I snuggle?" and then the dreamy exhale as he settles into my arms.  His little uneven breaths as he drifts back into dreamland and his eyelashes...oh his eyelashes!  Ski jumps that appear unending when seen up close, as they are with our faces almost touching.
• Ethan's face when he's reading a new book.  Full of concentration and pride and the glow that can only come from learning and mastering a new skill.  
• The face Adam makes when he knows he's being clever - eyebrows raised, tiny smirky grin, and chin tipped downward, as if feigning shyness.
• The downy, dark hair on the back of Ethan's neck and upper back.  One day that hair will get thicker, and he'll get smellier, but for now it's still the same hair that covered his back the day he was born.  I remember noticing his hairy back for the very first time and thinking it was just adorable and knowing that only a mother's love could make back hair really and truly endearing.
• The quiet conversations between brothers as they're falling asleep, or riding in the car, or snuggling on the couch.  I particularly love the way Adam asks Ethan questions with such pure admiration and trust, believing Ethan to be the wisest person he knows.  And the way Ethan answers those questions, or shows Adam how to do something, or makes sure that he doesn't miss a thing (as evidenced by the near constant "Adam, we're about to take off!  Adam, we're going to go really fast now and then we're going to take off!  Adam, we're about to take off now!  Adam, we're taking off now!  Adam, look out your window!  Adam, we're in the air!  [Repeat repeat repeat]" on yesterday's flight home from New York).
• Making applesauce with my boys, which is really me making applesauce with them saddled up to our counter and tasting a bite of every apple that goes into that pot.  Somehow, it still feels like a community effort.  
• The "I love you"s and the "see you in the mornin'!"s and the hugs and the hand-holding and the fighting over sitting in my lap and the requests for head rubs and to be picked up and the way that they look at me as if I were the most beautiful woman in the world.
• And this:

That, I will never, ever get sick of looking at.  And I know it's a moment.  Just a moment in this life of mine, and as such, one that I must fully experience with every ounce of my being.  Because moments are, by definition, rare and fleeting, and will one day become (if we should be so lucky), only memories.