Grams

Just before I started writing that last post, I learned that my grandma had passed away. I debated whether to continue with my post about Ethan's birthday, or to shift gears and write about my grandma instead. I ultimately decided to write Ethan's birthday post because his 3rd birthday only happens once and my grandma, well, her situation is a bit more permanent. I also wanted a few more days to reflect internally before posting my thoughts. I was able to prepare for Ethan's birthday, and to think about exactly what I wanted to say. Unfortunately, death is a little less predictable and no matter the circumstances, catches you a bit off guard.

My grandma was a very special lady. Many wonderful memories have been playing through my head over the past few days as I think about what she meant to me and how she touched my life. My Grams was a cool grandma, one I was always happy to spend time with and share with my friends. When I was a little girl, I worshipped my grandma as all little girls do, but I think we were lucky in that our relationship only grew stronger as I aged. During those sometimes-tumultuous teenage years, she was a role model who I didn't feel the need to defy or rebel against, like I did my own mom. We did a lot together during my teens and twenties - many lunch dates, shopping trips, chats on her patio. I learned a lot about her past and her perspectives, and I always felt like she was really listening to me. One of the best days I ever spent with my grandma was when she took me shopping for my prom dress. We had so much fun, just the two of us. My grandma was a very snappy dresser with a super sense of fashion. She took me to fancier stores than I was used to, and we ended up with not one, but two gorgeous dresses that were just perfect. Many years later, in a sweet turn of events, I took her shopping for her grandmother-of-the-bride dress, in which she looked just stunning.

One thing I will really miss is my grandma's hands. She had the most beautiful hands, and she took very good care of them. I remember her hands from when I was very small - her nails were always long and polished in this pretty coral shade. I wanted hands like that when I grew up. When I last saw my Grandma at Thanksgiving, she was confused and quiet, not connecting much with me or our conversation. But we did just sit and hold hands for a few minutes, and her hands were still so soft. I'm so glad we did.

My grandma lived a long and full life. I am so thankful that she got to meet both of our boys, and they, her. She was already beginning to decline when Ethan was born, but that didn't stop her from coming up to meet her very first great-grandchild. Oh, how she doted on him.

She only got to meet Adam twice, and I can't find a picture of the two of them anywhere. I know they won't remember her, and I'm not even sure that she remembered meeting them, but I will. Such lucky boys to have met two of their great-grandparents, and two such special human beings.