Resolutions

Well it's January 8th already and I'm just getting around to a New Years-themed post, so clearly "to write more" is not one of my 2012 resolutions (or if it is, I think I'm in trouble).  We welcomed in 2012 at the Duck House, minus Noni and Papi (much to the boys' confusion and disappointment) but plus the Doyle clan (phew - god forbid the boys have to spend the weekend with just their parents).  After a loooong bedtime (trying to get four very wound-up kids to sleep all at the same time when within earshot of one another is...challenging) we spent the remaining minutes of 2011 discussing our last big NYE celebration at the Duck House (Y2K), and all the NYEs in between.  Boy has life changed in 12 years!  Gone are the days of feather boas and midnight meaning the party's just getting started - I think we were all asleep by 12:15 this year.  But it was, as always, great to get our families together.  It is especially nice when we are able to spend more than a short visit together, when we can relax and catch up and the kids can really get to know one another.  It always amazes me how, just like their moms, these kids can pick up their friendships right where they were last left off.

So here we are in 2012.  Generally speaking, I could take or leave New Years resolutions, and I've certainly never been one to publicly proclaim my intentions for the new year.  But this year, I have made a couple of resolutions, and perhaps a little public proclamation will help them stick.  My big resolution for the year, something I have been struggling with for awhile, is to UNPLUG.  I will be the first to admit that I have a love-hate relationship with all my handheld devices, a relationship that borders on an addictive co-dependency sort of situation, and I am going to try try try to detach in 2012.  Before we know it, Ethan will start begging us for an iPhone, and my habits will become his habits, and his habits will become Adam's, and suddenly we're all sitting around the kitchen table with our faces down, buried in our own personal worlds.  I do not want that.  So in 2012, I am resolving to reduce the time I spend with iPhone or Blackberry in hand.  Now all resolution experts (whoever they are) will agree that New Years resolutions need to be concrete and measurable.  "Reducing my handheld device use" is too vague for implementation and follow through, so I boiled my 2012 resolution down to these four rules: 1.) I will not look at my iPhone or Blackberry before breakfast is over, 2.) I will not look at my iPhone or Blackberry after 9 PM, 3.) I will check my Blackberry (work) no more than once per day on the weekends, and 4.) If I am using my Blackberry/iPhone and someone in my family is trying to talk to me, I will put the device down immediately to engage (even if only to tell him that I am in the middle of an email).  Now that I see them in print, these rules seem simple and even a little silly, but I think they will help to keep my overall goal in mind, and to further my constant quest to be more present in daily life.  This leads me to my second resolution, which is to have at least ten quiet and still minutes per day.  I don't intend to meditate, per se, but in this crazy, busy, sometimes stressful, always loud life, I recognize this body and soul's need to pause, take a breath, and reflect.  So it may be sitting with a cup of tea in the afternoon, or holding a few yoga poses before bed, but whatever it is, I resolve to be quiet and still, to take my own timeout, every day in 2012.

Now, what about the rest of my family?  Well, Ethan's resolution for 2012 actually sparked my idea to write this post.  His teacher has displayed all the kids' resolutions on a bulletin board outside his room.  Ethan's resolution for 2012 is "to be better about picking up my toys", which, coincidentally (or not), is exactly what Santa asked of him in a video message before Christmas.  This boy isn't rewards-driven or anything...  Adam is perhaps still a bit young to understand the idea of a New Years resolution, but I tried to explain the concept to him this morning.  I suggested he might resolve to be a better listener, or stop biting his brother, and he heartily agreed with both of them and asked how to spell each.  I'm not sure where he plans to write these down, but at least now he's ready.  Ben resolves "to be a better tennis player" in 2012, and when pressed for a concrete and measurable goal, said he hopes to become a 4.5 player (he's now 4.0) this year.  He also buys into my goal to unplug, although hasn't yet set "rules" for himself.

So now we embark on this new year with all our resolutions written in stone (or in cyberspace).  It will be interesting to report back in 358 days (leap year!) on our successes and failures.  I do realize the irony of this post, as it is now almost 10 and I am online writing (although not on my iPhone!).  Perhaps there will have to be the occasional exception for a blog post...

A very happy 2012, full of all the hope and possibility that only a new year can bring!