As a parent, we have many opportunities to remember how blissfully easy childhood is. Sure, there are some benefits that go along with adulthood, like eating what you want, when you want, staying up as late as you want, being "in charge". But for the most part, I'd happily give up the free will and its accompanying responsibility for the carefree days of youth, even if it meant I also had to give up my nightly bowl of ice cream. How I remember, though, being a kid and just not being able to
wait to grow up. So I can understand and commiserate with Ethan when he is almost constantly talking about what he'll be able to do next year, in five years, when he's all grown up, and being in such a hurry to get there. At five, he's started getting little bites of freedom and independence, and with that comes the knowledge of all that he
can't yet do, which makes him frustrated. The boys used to get upset when we went out and left them with a sitter, not wanting to be away from Mom and Dad for even a few hours. Now, instead of being upset that we're leaving, Ethan is upset that he can't come with us, that he can't do what the adults are doing. He feels like he is ready for the world, and can't quite understand why there are parts of the world that aren't ready for him. He hates when Mommy drinks a "for adults only" cup of coffee or a glass of wine, and insists that he is fast enough to come along on my runs (he is not - we have tried this experiment and it only leads to frustration for all parties involved). I know that being told you can't do something is discouraging and crushing to the spirit, so I try to err on the side of letting him at least try all that he feels capable of. But there are, of course, certain things that are just off limits, and will be for some time. So when it comes to those things, I do my best to explain why he isn't ready, promise him that the time
will come when he is ready, and encourage him to appreciate the present without always wishing it away. This is something I have and probably always will struggle with myself, and I hope to raise my little people to live outside their heads and keep their feet firmly planted in the now.
What Ethan doesn't realize is how much he
can do now that he's five. Ben and I have noticed a dramatic change in family life lately, as our not-so-little-anymore boys can suddenly do so much more with us. Ethan has his very own garden this summer (more on that
here) and is loving being able to choose what he wants to grow and where. Both boys have been real, true helpers with yard and spring clean-up this year, not just staying out of our way but actually pitching in and easing our load. We've recently introduced them to the game of Twenty Questions - it's become an instant family favorite and the boys often come up with some "very tricky ones" (as they like to say). On Saturday, I took the boys to Ben's tennis match; it had been awhile, and although it used to be a NIGHTMARE trying to get the boys to sit still while I tried to catch one or two points, this time I actually got to watch almost a whole set! Ethan and Adam were both interested in learning the rules of the game, who the "good guys" and the "bad guys" were, and whether Daddy was winning or losing. Sharing our hobbies with our kids is a particularly fun development, and a rewarding part of parenting.
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