What's S'Happening with the Stockwells: Divine Nine

My dearest Ethan, my firstborn, the one who made me a mama nine years ago,
How do I even begin to capture the beautiful boy you've become? If you had asked me, upon our first meeting nine years ago, when I peered into those deep grey eyes and stared at that adorable tousle of thick black hair, who you would turn out to be...I don't think I could have imagined a boy as wonderful as you. As I cling to your childhood, mourning the passing of each year and fearing the precipice ahead, you only continue to amaze me with your ability to make me love you more fiercely, enjoy being with you more than before, be even prouder of the boy you have become. At nine, you seem to be a most perfect version of yourself, and I wish I could freeze time and live with my nine-year-old Ethan forever. You are so very grown up all of the sudden, but still innocent, and curious, and full of wonder. Just today, you told me, "Anything is possible Mom. I really believe that." And I know that you do, and I LOVE that you do. But I also love that we can have real conversations about what's possible, and how to make your dreams come true, and how a positive attitude can change your life. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know, ears that are always open, and a brain that ponders big thoughts. You, my boy, are deep. And I mean that in the most complimentary way. Deep thinkers, deep feelers...they are the ones who change the world, and I have no doubt you will be a world changer.

And just as you are an ideal combination of child and adult, you are also a perfect blend of your mom and your dad (if I do say so myself). You have my drive, my confidence, my strong will (some would argue you could have lived without this character trait), and you have your dad's kindness, his gentle nature, his ability to see the good in everyone around him. Oh, and his love of the Pats. And his sports superstitions. And his body type. And his eye-hand coordination... Okay, I give up...you may very well be 90% your dad, but I think the stuff you got from me is pretty awesome. Because that's the cool thing about nine. I feel like I really KNOW you at nine, Ethan. Not your baby self, not your toddler self, but your real true Ethan self. And that Ethan self is pretty darn amazing.

At nine, you have calmed down A LITTLE. But you are still the loudest kid I know when you want to be, and get bursts of energy that send you bounding around the room. Your interests are narrower but deeper - football, Star Wars, and Legos are your passions. Throwing or kicking a ball with Dad, playing a board game or reading with Mom, and wrestling or lightsaber dueling with your brother are probably your favorite activities. You have a small group of close friends, mostly neighbors, to whom you are fiercely loyal. You are almost always up for playing outside, the colder and snowier the better. You are still my little homebody (there's dad again), and would rather be home than anywhere else in the world. But you are also easily convinced to go on an adventure (there's me!), especially if it involves shopping. You are incredibly helpful around the house (when you want to be), and thrive under more responsibility. You decided this year that you wanted your own room, which nearly broke my (and your brother's) heart, and love arranging and rearranging and decorating your space. You are neat and conscientious (there's me again!) and can't stand the messes created by other members of our household (I'm with you, buddy). You cherish and honor tradition, whether it be movie nights, standing Friday playdates with friends, game nights, Christmas traditions, or birthday celebrations. When I asked you what you wanted for your birthday breakfast this year, you reminded me that I always make a yogurt parfait for your and Adam's birthdays!

Your nine year old body is tall. I don't remember the last time I picked you up; I'm not sure that I still could. You are lanky and full of long limbs. Your skin is still perfect, but your smile is funny. Cute, but funny. You blush easily when I ask about anyone of the opposite gender, but then again, you always did. You are shy around teachers and adults and people you don't know, but you are anything but around your friends and your family. You are a natural leader, serious and determined and strong. But you are also silly and goofy and clever. I watch how people look up to you, Ethan. You have a true gift for interacting with people, and I'm quite sure that, like your dad, there won't be many people you dislike, or many people who dislike you.

Nine feels big. REALLY big. You are growing up fast, my Ethan. You still seek snuggles and hugs, and back rubs at bedtime. I am still the one you look for when you are hurt or scared or upset. But the end is near, and I feel it. You are pulling away ever so slowly, spreading your wings, reaching for independence. And while seeing who you are becoming makes my heart soar, the process makes my heart sink just a bit. I treasured your special day on Monday - a board game just the two of us before the rest of the house awoke, your breakfast parfait celebration, opening presents at the moment you were born, pizza and snow tubing with friends, and a quiet family dinner just us four. While we were tubing in the peace of the falling snow, I watched you. I tried to take you in, to take your nine year old self in and file it away so I will always remember it. I watched you laugh with friends. I watched you wait for those who were lagging behind. I watched you daringly run and jump and throw yourself down the mountain without a fear in the world. I watched you tackle your brother. And I watched you look back at us, your proud parents, and smile. And in those little moments, just like in the little moments of our first meeting nine years ago, and in all the little precious moments in between, you rocked my world.

Happiest of birthdays to my Ethan. You have brought so much love and light to our lives over the past nine years. I am, and forever will be, grateful to be your mom.

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Ethan, Age 9
Weight: 64 lbs (61 lbs)
Height: 55 inches (52.5 inches)
1. What is your favorite color? Green (Red)
2. What is your favorite toy? Lightsabers (Legos, paper plane building set)
3. What is your favorite fruit? Orange (Mango)
4. What is your favorite TV show? Star Wars Rebels (Odd Squad)
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Bagel and cream cheese (Bagel and cream cheese)
6. What is your favorite outfit? Anything Pats or Star Wars (Pats gear)
7. What is your favorite game? Life (Qwirkle)
8. What is your favorite snack? Popcorn (Muesli with kefir)
9. What is your favorite animal? Elephant (Elephant)
10. What is your favorite song? Dynamite (Dynamite)
11. What is your favorite book? The Rookie Bookie (A to Z Mysteries, Boxcar Children)
12. Who is your best friend? Josh and Owen (Josh)
13. What is your favorite cereal? Crispy Hexagons [generic Crispix] (Muesli with kefir)
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Football (Sled, play in the treehouse)
15. What is your favorite drink? Hot cocoa (Hot cocoa)
16. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas (Christmas)
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Wince [his new WorryWoo doll] (Wize)
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Cranberry toast (Pancakes)
19. What would you like to have for a special birthday dinner? Mac 'n cheese or chili (Mac 'n cheese)
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? Architect and builder (A construction worker)