Moving Out

Life is busy!  Very good busy, but busy busy busy.  The months just seem to fly by and suddenly, here we are with an almost 7 1/2 year old (who asks me about his upcoming half birthday constantly) and a not-so-newly-minted 9 year old.  They are each in great places, and I am so happy to be mom to bigger (but still with a little bit of little in there) boys.  These bigger boys are independent and smart, full of life and energy, and even occasionally kind of helpful.  They bound off the bus every afternoon, devour a box of cereal each, and say "hi", "good" (when asked about their days), and "see ya Mom", and head out into the woods to play.  They find a boy or three or twenty nearby and they are off adventuring or throwing a ball or building a fort or beating each other up...and they really don't need another thing from me until dinner.  Really.  After that fifteen minute burst of noise and activity, the house is silent.  I enjoy this time, puttering around my house and catching up on things, all the while listening to the happy squeals outside, knowing that this childhood we are giving our kids is pretty darn great.

This extra space in my life feels new.  Of course, there are still the afternoons where we have activities, and my boys very much need me to shuttle them around from place to place.  But when we're home, they are quite able to fend for themselves.  I appreciate this extra bit of space that has naturally appeared, particularly as I reengage with the working world and begin to ramp up my new career.  The balance that seemed so difficult to obtain when the boys were younger seems a bit more in reach.  My to-do list is still a mile long, but who's isn't?  The important stuff is getting done.

One thing that had been on my to-do list since Ethan turned nine in January was to redecorate his room.  When we first moved into this house back in 2008, Ethan was in one bedroom, and Adam was in my tummy.  When Adam joined us, he took the room down the hall, and we loved both the boys' bedrooms.  In fact, Ben and I often remarked that they were our favorite rooms in the house.  Ethan's was a dinosaur theme, and Adam's was jungle-adorned.  The paint colors the previous owner had chosen were just perfect for two little boys.

Pregnant with Adam in his jungle nursery.

Fast forward to 2012, when the boys, then 3 and 5, decided they'd like to try sharing a room.  So we moved Ethan into Adam's room, redecorated it with a space theme, set the boys up in bunk beds, and changed the other bedroom into a playroom.  This arrangement worked well - we were able to start relocating the toy mess from our living room, and the boys fell in love with being together at night.  I have, and will forever have, such fond memories of listening to their adorable little conversations as they fell asleep.

First night in bunk beds!

Now fast forward again, this time to 2015.  Ethan, then 8, starts voicing an interest in having his own space.  He wants to be able to keep his living area clean, and the messes his brother creates really bother him.  He wants privacy sometimes.  He wants to be alone sometimes.  As a mom to two boys who had been perennially attached at the hip, this news was hard to hear.  I'm not sure what I had imagined, exactly - surely it wasn't two high school boys sleeping in bunk beds.  But I guess I had just pictured them together for longer.  Slowly, I warmed up to Ethan's idea.  I heard him, and I understood.  I realized it was all going to be ok; in fact, giving Ethan the space he was asking for would actually help maintain the boys' close relationship, rather than harm it.  So he and I began planning and dreaming and decorating his "big boy room" that he'd get when he turned nine.

Of course, life gets busy, and time gets away from you and redoing a bedroom seems like too big of a task for a weekend, and suddenly it was March and Ethan's room was still baby green with dinosaurs.  And he was grumpy and nagging.  Noni and Papi had come through with their birthday gift of a new desk, but mom hadn't fulfilled her end of the bargain.  We settled on a paint color and I purchased the paint, thinking that would appease Ethan, at least for a bit.  And then, as fate would have it, after a weirdly mild winter, Mother Nature decided to throw us two snow days in one week!  And there's nothing that motivates this mama more than cabin fever.  So while the boys played out in the snow, I finally tackled Ethan's room.  In less than a week, the green walls were coated with navy, the dinosaurs replaced with football posters and NFL logos.  And voila!  We have a big boy's room.

Ethan is over-the-moon thrilled with his new room.  It suits him perfectly, and he seems to enjoy having a safe haven when he needs space, quiet, and a clean floor.  My favorite part about this story is that all my sad thoughts about splitting the boys up were premature...they haven't spent one night alone yet!

Either Adam drags his sleeping bag into Ethan's new room, or Ethan spends the night in his old top bunk.  Just like old times, they are still in love with being together at night.  And I still love listening to their adorable little conversations as they fall asleep.

Together forever, right?  Maybe even in high school???

Oh Dear God

We have taken our boys to church twice in their lifetime - both times on Christmas Eve.  The first time, they were 2 months and almost 2 and had no idea where we were.  The second time, they didn't have any more idea where we were, but were old enough to shout "Rudolph!" and "Frosty" when the priest asked for the congregation's favorite Christmas hymns.  That, and their viewing of the pews as personal jungle gyms sealed the last chapter in our history as churchgoers. 

So... you can imagine my surprise when I found this on my counter a few months ago:

I shrugged it off and figured that, unfortunately, someone had adopted my use of the Lord's name in vain.  But then there we were Christmas morning, at the peak of anticipation, just about to dive into the mound of presents under our nothing-but-secular tree, and Adam asks us all to pause.  "We have to sing 'Happy Birthday' to Jesus first," he says.  Huh.  Okay then.  We humored him with a rousing edition of 'Happy Birthday'.  And we humored him further when, a few days later, he pointed out to Daddy that "Jaggy" (his new Jaguars mascot stuffed animal that he'd gotten for Christmas) and Jesus were sort of like twins, since they'd both been 'born' on Christmas Day. 

I wondered who I had to thank for my son's religious education, so I started asking around.  Most parents worry about what sort of language or sex ed their kids will pick up on the schoolbus; well, it turns out that our kid had been picking up a solid dose of CCD instead.  And just like we would have done had he come home with a curiosity about where babies come from, we responded with a trip to the library and an attempt to answer his questions (although, I must admit, I have an easier time answering the "where do babies come from?" question than I do deciphering children's bible stories).  And this little obsession with all things biblical seems to have since run its course...

And it appears doomsday prophesying has taken its place.

Divine Nine

My dearest Ethan, my firstborn, the one who made me a mama nine years ago,
How do I even begin to capture the beautiful boy you've become?  If you had asked me, upon our first meeting nine years ago, when I peered into those deep grey eyes and stared at that adorable tousle of thick black hair, who you would turn out to be...I don't think I could have imagined a boy as wonderful as you.  As I cling to your childhood, mourning the passing of each year and fearing the precipice ahead, you only continue to amaze me with your ability to make me love you more fiercely, enjoy being with you more than before, be even prouder of the boy you have become.  At nine, you seem to be a most perfect version of yourself, and I wish I could freeze time and live with my nine-year-old Ethan forever.  You are so very grown up all of the sudden, but still innocent, and curious, and full of wonder.  Just today, you told me, "Anything is possible Mom.  I really believe that."  And I know that you do, and I LOVE that you do.  But I also love that we can have real conversations about what's possible, and how to make your dreams come true, and how a positive attitude can change your life.  You have the biggest heart of anyone I know, ears that are always open, and a brain that ponders big thoughts.  You, my boy, are deep.  And I mean that in the most complimentary way.  Deep thinkers, deep feelers...they are the ones who change the world, and I have no doubt you will be a world changer.

And just as you are an ideal combination of child and adult, you are also a perfect blend of your mom and your dad (if I do say so myself).  You have my drive, my confidence, my strong will (some would argue you could have lived without this character trait), and you have your dad's kindness, his gentle nature, his ability to see the good in everyone around him.  Oh, and his love of the Pats.  And his sports superstitions.  And his body type.  And his eye-hand coordination...  Okay, I give up...you may very well be 90% your dad, but I think the stuff you got from me is pretty awesome.  Because that's the cool thing about nine.  I feel like I really KNOW you at nine, Ethan.  Not your baby self, not your toddler self, but your real true Ethan self.  And that Ethan self is pretty darn amazing.

At nine, you have calmed down A LITTLE.  But you are still the loudest kid I know when you want to be, and get bursts of energy that send you bounding around the room.  Your interests are narrower but deeper - football, Star Wars, and Legos are your passions.  Throwing or kicking a ball with Dad, playing a board game or reading with Mom, and wrestling or lightsaber dueling with your brother are probably your favorite activities.  You have a small group of close friends, mostly neighbors, to whom you are fiercely loyal.  You are almost always up for playing outside, the colder and snowier the better.  You are still my little homebody (there's dad again), and would rather be home than anywhere else in the world.  But you are also easily convinced to go on an adventure (there's me!), especially if it involves shopping.  You are incredibly helpful around the house (when you want to be), and thrive under more responsibility.  You decided this year that you wanted your own room, which nearly broke my (and your brother's) heart, and love arranging and rearranging and decorating your space.  You are neat and conscientious (there's me again!) and can't stand the messes created by other members of our household (I'm with you, buddy).  You cherish and honor tradition, whether it be movie nights, standing Friday playdates with friends, game nights, Christmas traditions, or birthday celebrations.  When I asked you what you wanted for your birthday breakfast this year, you reminded me that I always make a yogurt parfait for your and Adam's birthdays!   

Your nine year old body is tall.  I don't remember the last time I picked you up; I'm not sure that I still could.  You are lanky and full of long limbs.  Your skin is still perfect, but your smile is funny.  Cute, but funny.  You blush easily when I ask about anyone of the opposite gender, but then again, you always did.  You are shy around teachers and adults and people you don't know, but you are anything but around your friends and your family.  You are a natural leader, serious and determined and strong.  But you are also silly and goofy and clever.  I watch how people look up to you, Ethan.  You have a true gift for interacting with people, and I'm quite sure that, like your dad, there won't be many people you dislike, or many people who dislike you.

Nine feels big.  REALLY big.  You are growing up fast, my Ethan.  You still seek snuggles and hugs, and back rubs at bedtime.  I am still the one you look for when you are hurt or scared or upset.  But the end is near, and I feel it.  You are pulling away ever so slowly, spreading your wings, reaching for independence.  And while seeing who you are becoming makes my heart soar, the process makes my heart sink just a bit.  I treasured your special day on Monday - a board game just the two of us before the rest of the house awoke, your breakfast parfait celebration, opening presents at the moment you were born, pizza and snow tubing with friends, and a quiet family dinner just us four.  While we were tubing in the peace of the falling snow, I watched you.  I tried to take you in, to take your nine year old self in and file it away so I will always remember it.  I watched you laugh with friends.  I watched you wait for those who were lagging behind.  I watched you daringly run and jump and throw yourself down the mountain without a fear in the world.  I watched you tackle your brother.  And I watched you look back at us, your proud parents, and smile.  And in those little moments, just like in the little moments of our first meeting nine years ago, and in all the little precious moments in between, you rocked my world.  

Happiest of birthdays to my Ethan.  You have brought so much love and light to our lives over the past nine years.  I am, and forever will be, grateful to be your mom.

*****************************

Ethan, Age 9
Weight: 64 lbs (61 lbs)
Height: 55 inches (52.5 inches)
1. What is your favorite color? Green (Red)
2. What is your favorite toy? Lightsabers (Legos, paper plane building set)
3. What is your favorite fruit?  Orange (Mango)
4. What is your favorite TV show? Star Wars Rebels (Odd Squad)
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Bagel and cream cheese (Bagel and cream cheese)
6. What is your favorite outfit? Anything Pats or Star Wars (Pats gear)
7. What is your favorite game? Life (Qwirkle)
8. What is your favorite snack? Popcorn (Muesli with kefir)
9. What is your favorite animal? Elephant (Elephant)
10. What is your favorite song? Dynamite (Dynamite) 
11. What is your favorite book? The Rookie Bookie (A to Z Mysteries, Boxcar Children)
12. Who is your best friend? Josh and Owen (Josh)
13. What is your favorite cereal? Crispy Hexagons [generic Crispix] (Muesli with kefir) 
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Football (Sled, play in the treehouse)
15. What is your favorite drink? Hot cocoa (Hot cocoa)
16. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas (Christmas)
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Wince [his new WorryWoo doll] (Wize)
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Cranberry toast (Pancakes)
19. What would you like to have for a special birthday dinner? Mac 'n cheese or chili (Mac 'n cheese)
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? Architect and builder (A construction worker) 

Dad and Ethan at his family party Saturday night.  Grandparents, chili, ice cream sundaes, and a Pats win = one happy nine-year old!

A cake maker I am not, but I was pretty proud of my BB-8 creation for Ethan's kids' party on Monday.

We had a few close friends over for pizza and cake, and then hit the tubing slopes in Windham

I love this shot - it sums up Ethan's pensive but giggly personality perfectly

The lightly falling snow kept the crowds away and the runs fast.  So.much.fun.

PS.  Our other January birthday...a happy first birthday to our very big Moxie girl!

Seven: Heaven

To my smart, spunky, sweet, spontaneous, sporty Adam on his seventh birthday (or several days thereafter):

Seven years ago, you stood me up.  For ten long days, we eagerly awaited your arrival, and you JUST.WOULDN'T.COME.  I should have known then just how you'd turn out - a boy who marches to the beat of his very own drummer and doesn't care much about schedules or timelines.  But anyway, my point is that I guess I am finally standing YOU up in my delinquency in posting this birthday post.  Please don't interpret my tardiness as a reflection of the depth of my love for you.  Because I love you more and more each and every single day.  And while I never would have thought that possible when I finally DID meet you seven years ago, it's true - I love my seven year old Adam even more than my six year old Adam, and infinitely more than I loved you back then. 

Seven.  You are growing up my littlest boy!  You have changed a lot in the past year.  You've lost three teeth and have a Jack O' Lantern smile that is perfect for Halloween.  Since your sixth birthday, you have learned how to throw a spiral, swim and ice skate and ski with confidence, do multiplication and division, and read fluently.  You've grown several inches and feel heavy in my arms.  It's getting harder and harder to carry you or to fit you on my lap.  But you will always be my little boy. 

At seven, you love Pokémon, Angry Birds, and Minecraft (yes, you have always been, and I suspect always will be, my video game junkie).  Star Wars fever has swept our house and you cannot get enough lightsabers.  You still love to dress up and play pretend, but your characters and play scenes are more complex.  You are also creative, and love building things with paper, tape, markers, and scissors.  I often curse the reams of paper I need to replenish and the scraps of paper I am constantly tripping over, but I love this creative side of you.  I also love watching the wheels turn in your brain - you are a thinker, focused, inquisitive, and see the world in a different way.  You are athletic and strong, your favorite activities being wrestling, kicking, climbing, and tackling (all favorites of mine).  Like your brother, you are currently OBSESSED with football.  You have mastered the football carry and the hike.  But for you, this obsession revolves primarily around the Sports page in the paper, and keeping a constant catalog of wins and losses in every division.  Just the other day, you created a handmade spreadsheet categorizing all NFL teams according to their record. 

You have always been my quirky kid.  And I mean this in the best possible way.  At seven, you have some adorably quirky habits.  When you want to tell me something important, you raise your right index finger in the air, like an absent-minded professor might when teaching a lesson.  You sit with your feet folded under you for hours when you are hard at work, but yet you can't sit through a family dinner to save your life.  Unlike the rest of our friends and family in Pats country, you are a rabid supporter of the Jacksonville Jaguars.  Jaguar swag was one of your favorite birthday gifts.   

At seven, as always, you are a bundle of love.  You still hold my hand and remain generous with kisses, "I'm sorry"s, snuggles, and handmade gifts.  One of the best gifts I have ever received from you was a note on my pillow that read "I love you MOM.  Your'e the best mom evre."  You wear your heart on your sleeve and feel big deep emotions.  You crave attention and use some interesting strategies to get it.  You are social and popular, and your ability to trade football and Pokémon cards on the bus makes me a bit fearful for future professional leanings.  You love your brother to the end of the earth, and will do almost anything for him.  You sense that he is starting to seek independence from you and it makes you love on him even harder.

My biggest wish for you, Adam, on this seventh birthday and always, is that you know how very much we love you.  I can't imagine our lives without you in it.  You fill our home with energy (!), love, laughter, and spark.  You are the yang to our yins, a breath of fresh air, a challenge, a new perspective.  We love you to the moon and back and beyond and beyond.  I can't wait to see what your eighth year brings.

Me and my boy

First grade portrait

Luke Skywalker in your first ever piano recital.  You rocked it!

Climbing and jumping and adventuring.

Because you clearly need help in this department.

Adam - Age 7

Height: 47 inches (+2 inches (4%) from last year)

Weight: 46.8 lbs (+6 lbs (15%!) from last year)

(* indicates same answer as last year.  We are growing and changing!)
Favorite color: Green

Favorite toy: Ezra's lightsaber

Favorite fruit: Raspberries and mangos

Favorite TV show: Ninjago

Favorite thing to eat for lunch: Turkey and cheese sandwich

Favorite outfit: Jammies*

Favorite game: Wits and Wagers 

Favorite snack: Lunchables (In his dreams.)

Favorite animal: Jaguar

Favorite song: "All the songs on the radio"

Favorite book: Star Wars lego book

Best friend: Oscar, Preston, Devin, Sebastian, and Sam

Favorite cereal: Rice Krispies

Favorite thing to do outside: Football

Favorite drink: Cranberry apple lemonade

Favorite holiday: Christmas

What you take to bed at night: Horsey* and Pillow Pet*

Favorite thing to eat for breakfast: Bagel with butter

What you want for your special birthday dinner: Mac 'n cheese*

What you want to be when you grow up: Candy store owner

Happy Hogwarts Adam!

Ever since we finished reading the Harry Potter series this summer, my boys have been planning a Harry Potter birthday party.  Some days it was going to be Adam's party, some days Ethan's, some days we were going to get to throw TWO Harry Potter parties in one year!  I let the boys go wild with their ideas...soon enough we were planning Quidditch using harnesses strung from trees to simulate flight and personalized Quidditch jerseys for every party-goer.  Pinterest "Harry Potter birthday party" and it will send you into a tailspin...some moms sure do throw their kids some kind of crazy amazing parties.  This mom, however, decided to take it down a notch and throw a good old low-key birthday party for a seven year old, at our house, with some hokey homemade touches and a lot of help and inspiration from my boys.  Honestly, many of the little details I loved were lost on most of the kids - all it takes to make a bunch of seven year old boys happy is cake, running around in the fresh air, and party favors (particularly if said party favors are candy!).  But my Adam loved every little detail as much as I (and Ethan) did, and we had such a blast transforming our house into Hogwarts for the afternoon.


As an aside, I am not posting about this party to pretend I am anywhere near the leagues of party throwers I found on Pinterest, but rather to remember the little details we'll surely forget.  Just before Adam's party, we talked about every birthday celebration each boy had had since he was born.  The boys loved flipping back through the blog to see pictures.  So here's a little record of Adam's seventh birthday party, for all those times we want to reminisce in the future. 

After an initial stop at Ollivander's Wand Shop, we held a sorting ceremony.  Each boy put on the sorting hat and learned whether they were in Griffyndor or Slytherin.

Then it was on to potions class.  Each boy got a little cauldron in which to mix pond scum, bat wings, and other delectable ingredients to make their very own Polyjuice Potion.

Ethan was not a fan.  Nor were any of the other little wizards, actually.

Next we took that Polyjuice Potion-ed energy outside for a Care of Magical Creatures class.  This was really a hunt for snakes, spiders, owls, rates, and other magical creatures in our yard.  The boys LOVED this, and the two houses got quite competitive with one another.

We turned our dining room into the Great hall, serving up special treats for hungry wizards - fruit wands, pretzel wands, and a golden snitch cake.

What Harry Potter party would be complete without Quidditch?  While we had to abandon the harnesses and jerseys, the boys (and dads) did have fun playing a makeshift version.

Before the wizards left, they got to stop by Honeyduke's for some favors.

This turned out to be the perfect party for our littlest wizard.  He loved having all his best friends join him to celebrate, and loved his Harry Potter-themed (and non-Harry Potter-themed) loot too!

Toothy Goofy

Someone lost his first tooth!  And his second!  Unlike his big brother, who ended up having two teeth pulled because he just couldn't, wouldn't wiggle them out, once Adam got a few wigglies going, he couldn't keep his hands out of his mouth.  He wiggles and twists and wiggles some more, much to his mother's squeals of disgust.  So it wasn't at all surprising when, on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend, Adam bit into a peach and promptly lost one of his bottom teeth. 

We were also not at all surprised when we couldn't find the tooth anywhere, assuming he had swallowed it, just as Ethan did his first tooth.  What was surprising was when, not long after we'd returned to T'Kozy and written a note to the Tooth Fairy, Adam's cousin Jackson showed up with the found tooth!  While playing Twister with other cousins, the tooth had magically appeared on the spinner!  Adam was beyond thrilled to have a real live tooth to leave for the fairy, and was even more excited when he found five bucks in its place the next morning. 

Just two weeks later, Adam bound off the bus one afternoon with a huge toothy grin - he'd lost the matching tooth on top!  Just in time for school picture day.  This time, he wrote a different note to the Tooth Fairy:

She didn't seem to go for it, and instead left him a $2 bill, standard tooth redemption pricing in our house.  Adam was super excited about his brand new tooth fairy pillow however, because, you know, everything needs a Star Wars logo these days.

 

Just like with Ethan, I'm needing to adjust to Adam's new smile.  His baby mug is forever changed and the gap in his teeth makes him look like a much bigger kid.  But in some ways, this adorable goofy grin fits our Adam to a tee.

Hello First and Third

Last hurrah of summer with the neighborhood kids at Ferry Beach

And their moms

Ethan's first day of third grade!  Tuesday was for third graders only.

All grown up and ready for Wentworth.  For the first time, I decided to let Ethan pick out his own outfit for the first day of school.  Third grade seems like a good time to allow for some self-expression.  I actually dig his new Star Wars/Minecraft shirt, nice (but still elastic-waisted shorts), and Patriots socks.  It's so Ethan.

I still got a goodbye hug and kiss from my big kid.

Third graders!  This was as close as Madison would get to those boys.

Two days later...Adam's first day of first grade!  He had been so lonely the past few days and was thrilled to join his brother at the bus stop this morning (but a little nervous to have to take the bus without his big brother).

This guy is SO ready for first grade.

Daddy stopping for a last minute hug on his way to Boston.

And there were plenty of hugs and kisses for Mommy.

The boys at our bus stop just keep multiplying.

And they're off!  Just like that.  Sigh.