Before Ethan was born, my mom warned me that the first few weeks with a new baby are tough because newborns are so needy and take, take, take without giving you anything in return. I didn't mind too much because it was all so novel and exciting, but she was right (as usual). Then around 6 weeks or so, Ethan rewarded us with his first glorious smiles. Little by little, he started giving back more and more - a coo, a snuggle, a giggle, a "Mama" - little gifts served up to his novice parents to remind them that they were doing ok at the job. Watching our parents take care of our grandparents, I realize this is a continuum. When a baby first enters the world, the parent-child relationship is one dimensional. The parents do everything for the child, and the child doesn't do a whole lot for the parents (other than serving as an alarm clock lest the parents try to oversleep). From birth, that balance starts to shift, ever so slightly, and the roles of parent and child change as the child grows and develops and can begin to give back to his parents.
We are (happily) still at the far left side of this continuum with our boys, where we do most of the care-giving, and they do most of the care-taking, but it is beginning to change a bit. Ben was away visiting family this past weekend, and for the first time, I didn't view the kiddos as all work. For the first time, I was actually thankful that they were there to keep me company, rather than wishing that Ben had taken the rascals away with him (is that bad?) and left me some peace. Ethan, in particular, was awesome. He was legitimately helpful in every way - weeding the garden, setting the table, bringing me things when I was tied up with Adam, etc. But more than his help, I really appreciated his company. He was my dinner date on Saturday night (lobster, of course), my conversation partner throughout the weekend, my excuse to go get ice cream (again). In general, he was a great little buddy to his Mom, who would have otherwise been pretty lonely with Ben away. Watching your kids grow up so fast is bittersweet, but the sweet part sure is lovely.
3 comments:
I couldn't imagine a better little buddy to keep you company. All of this is so true -- are you sure you're not pregnant again, too? Lots of very touching posts lately.
Melissa, please don't scare Ben like that.
I'm with Melissa - what's with the hormones Liz?! No just kidding - such a nice post. I'm not sure we're there yet with Hannah.... setting the table sounds like such a great idea - but throwing the silverware all over the kitchen is more interesting at this point. But as always - it's fun to hear where Ethan is and where we are (hopefully!) heading!
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