My Funny Little Man

In just four short months, we will be a toddler-free household. While that's crazy and shocking and a little bit sad, it also invokes feelings of excitement, and even relief. Don't get me wrong, there is so much I love about the toddler stages. But I also welcome some of the changes that come in the third year - the touch of rationality, the willingness to reason (to a point), and even the occasional ability to listen (whether anything comes of the listening is an entirely different matter). I'm not sure if it's his downward slide to three, or if it's because I've had the occasion to spend some more one-on-one time with Adam lately, but I am noticing some subtle shifts in who he is and how he sees his place in this world. And it's fun getting to know this new little person and his quirky traits.

As a 2-and-almost-3/4 year old, Adam is all about doing things HIMSELF. He is particularly enthralled with dressing and undressing himself, and often pulls his shirt off, stating "I'm cold." When I ask if he means that he's hot, he pulls out his sternest voice and repeats, "No Mommy I'm cold." He doesn't like to be challenged, this one. Adam states his new-found need for self-sufficiency loudly and with purpose. But as happens with most kids, his abilities have not yet caught up with his will, which leads to lots of frustration and a near-manic yo-yo between wanting to be all grown up and wanting to remain a baby. It's funny to watch big boy Adam, struggling to get his jammies on, dissolve into baby Adam, sucking his thumb, clutching Horsey, and yelling "Moooommmmmmyyyyyy!". In addition to a surging independence streak, Adam is developing (although developing is probably even too generous at this point) some long-overdue abilities in the areas of listening, sitting still for longer than 3 seconds, eating with utensils, taking turns, and self-preservation. While he is still (and I think will forever be) a bit of a mischievous menace, he is not quite as out-of-control as he once was.

All that being said, Adam is still Adam. This kid has PERSONALITY. His will is rock hard, and though still quite a peanut, he saves his strength for when he needs it to get his way. He knows exactly what buttons to push, and when, and how. Sometimes it's catching me when I'm down (e.g., screeching non-stop in the freezer section, when I've got a full cart of groceries and no out); sometimes it's flying under the radar (e.g., secretly learning to open the freezer on his own but not letting anyone know about it until he's eaten half a popsicle). What this kid lacks in drama (his older brother corners that market) he more than makes up for in sheer will. Also unlike his older brother, Adam is completely unfazed by disapproval. Completely. I like to think of it as a sign of self-esteem, but I'm pretty sure there's a bit of irreverence thrown in there too.

Adam has strong opinions, and likes to voice them loudly and often. We hear a lot of "I want to do _____ LATER!" when we ask him to do something, or when we tell him he can't do something right now. He has developed an affinity for "setzer" (seltzer) and refuses his milk at dinner. He wants to listen to Lomax every single time we get in the car and will repeat "I want to listen to Lomax. I want to listen to Lomax. I want to listen to Lomax." ad infinite um and at increasing volume levels until someone complies with his request. Adam has come to hate when I wear my hair up (which is a problem, because it's up 99% of the time - who has time to blow dry their hair with two kids?). So now, anytime I have my hair up, he shouts "I don't like your hair up! Take your hair down!", tantrums, and/or pulls my hair out himself. But if he does catch me with my hair down, he'll give me a sweet and charming, "You have your hair down!" with that adorable face and toothy grin. And I find myself catering to a 2-year old's hair preferences! He's a little schemer, that one.

Adam likes things "just so" in the world around him, but is paradoxically messy and slovenly himself. For someone who is awfully good at taking off his diaper, sitting on the potty, and talking about all things bodily-function-related, he refuses to consider potty training. He doesn't like the fact that the ketchup bottle is upside down, but couldn't care less that there is ketchup all over his face and hair. He is constantly wearing his shoes on the wrong feet, occasionally has his pants on backwards or inside out, and never has his hat on straight. He marches up to the garden and helps himself to "salad" and peas (much to his Dad's dismay) but won't touch the same veggies when they're on his plate.

Although I joke about the absurdity of some of these behaviors, and occasionally wonder what it would be like to have two parent-pleasers (instead of one rule-follower and one who thinks rules are a game), the reality is that as Adam gets older, I hope that some of these traits remain. I hope that Adam stays Adam. Adam is such an individual, not needing anyone or anything to make him happy. He is unabashedly spunky and doesn't ever care what others think of him. But at the same time, he is incredibly social and knows how to work a room like nobody's business. He is confident in his opinions and speaks his needs freely and simply. To me, these sound like all the ingredients for a happy and successful life.

Now if we could just make some progress with the table manners...