Stopping Time

There has been a lot of talk in the blogosphere of late about the endless battle that wages within parents' (and particularly mothers', I think) psyches between wanting to speed up and freeze time, all at once.  About how conflicted we feel when people tell us we must "cherish every moment" while we're actually just trying to get through each day.  It's so true, that old parenting adage, "The days are long but the years are short".  I still remember the first time I heard that saying, it resonated so deeply in my soul.  In a nutshell, this captured my daily roller coaster of emotions to a tee.  The days are long with two little kids.  If I'm being completely honest, I catch myself checking the clock (and not just once a day) and wondering "Okay, how many more hours until bedtime?".  It's hard to "cherish the moment" when I am asking Adam for the umpteenth time to PLEASE STOP JUMPING ON THE FURNITURE and he just laughs as I can literally see little horns sprouting out of his head.  Or when Ethan insists upon pouring his own milk and proceeds to spill it all over the just-mopped floor (and then dissolves into tears).  Or when we are finally in the home stretch to that beloved bedtime and instead of putting on their jammies, the boys are sprinting up and down the hall, naked, screaming "PENIS RACE!!!!" at decibel levels that are just unreasonable.  In those not-so-cherishable moments, I lose my patience, or raise my voice, or sigh too loudly, and I watch as their little faces crumble with hurt, and mommy irritation is instantly replaced with mommy guilt.  Later that night, I fold their not-so-tiny laundry and am flooded with feelings of awe and panic about how quickly time is passing.  I go peek in on my sleeping babies, kiss their sweet foreheads, and am overwhelmed by the intensity of my love and pride for these little creatures we made.  In those moments, I resolve to be a better mom tomorrow - to be more present, more patient, more grateful for all that we have.  But daylight comes and life gets busy and I fall back into my old routines.  I'm impatient and short and distracted.  I don't know that there's much of a solution to this see-saw of emotions, other than to recognize it for what it is, and to try, every day, to fill the hours with a little more appreciation and a little less agitation.

And to mark the passage of time.  Keeping a record of time, whether by blog or by photo album or by baby book or by big ol' disorganized box of stuff in the garage - I think this helps us "cherish every moment".  We can look back at these treasures, and all that inconsequential stuff - the parenting moments we aren't proud of, the spilt milk, the tears - that all melts away and we're left with the good stuff.  The important stuff.  Sure, it's good to capture the bad stuff too (I wouldn't be writing this post if I felt otherwise), but looking back on the past affords us a certain perspective that the present doesn't allow.  In the present, every minute is equal and of equal weight.  But when we remember, and reminisce, and revisit, time has a way of re-ordering and re-prioritizing to show us what's really important, and to remind us that life truly is grand.

So with all that in mind, I saw an idea on pinterest (which I don't understand at all, incidentally) the other day - to, on each of your child's birthdays, capture the answers to the same 20 questions, and to see how those answers change over the years.  It suggests starting this tradition at age 3, but Ethan will just have to forgive me for missing his first two lists, and we'll start with Ethan and Adam at ages 5 and 3.  I'll try to do this on or near their respective birthdays next time around.

Ethan, Age 5 and change
Weight: 45 lbs
Height: 45 inches (interesting side fact learned at 5-year check-up: many 5-year olds are "square", meaning their height equals their weight)
1. What is your favorite color?  Black
2. What is your favorite toy?  Bear (he just got this plastic bear for getting ten stars at school - it is small and rather unexciting, but our reward-driven boy adores it)
3. What is your favorite fruit?  Watermelon 
4. What is your favorite TV show? Fireman Sam
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch?  Grilled cheese
6. What is your favorite outfit?  My Superman costume
7. What is your favorite game?  I Spy Eagle Eye 
8. What is your favorite snack?  Crackers and cheese
9. What is your favorite animal?  Giraffe
10. What is your favorite song?  Lomax.  But if there was a Spiderman song, I would like that one.  Or a Batman song or a Superman song.
11. What is your favorite book?  Annie and Jack (The Magic Treehouse books)
12. Who is your best friend?  Emmett
13. What is your favorite cereal?  Muesli
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside?  Ride bikes
15. What is your favorite drink?  Milk
16. What is your favorite holiday?  Christmas and Halloween and Valentine's Day
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night?  Bunny and Ducky
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?  Muesli
19. What would you like to have for a special birthday dinner?  Macaroni and cheese (I'm sensing a cheese theme here...)
20. What do you want to be when you grow up?  A construction worker

Adam, Age 3 and change

Weight: 32 lbs

Height: 38 inches 

1. What is your favorite color?  Yellow

2. What is your favorite toy?  Elephant (? no idea) 

3. What is your favorite fruit?  Grapes

4. What is your favorite TV show? Dora

5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch?  Grilled cheese

6. What is your favorite outfit?  Jammies

7. What is your favorite game?  I Spy Eagle Eye 

8. What is your favorite snack?  Pretzels...no, crackers and cheese (revised after Ethan's answer)

9. What is your favorite animal?  Pig and giraffe (added after Ethan's answer)

10. What is your favorite song?  The Bell Song?  or The Belle Song?  (again, no idea)

11. What is your favorite book?  One Yellow Lion (Mom's editorial change: The Little Red Hen or The Three Little Bears or anything from the Fairy Tale book)

12. Who is your best friend?  Abby

13. What is your favorite cereal?  Shredded Spoonfuls

14. What is your favorite thing to do outside?  Play

15. What is your favorite drink?  Milk

16. What is your favorite holiday?  Halloween

17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night?  Horsey

18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?  Piggy bread (When Pigs Fly Harvest Bread)

19. What would you like to have for a special birthday dinner?  Macaroni and cheese and peas (Popular birthday dinner choice in the Stockwell house)

20. What do you want to be when you grow up?  An adult

And a cherished moment captured a couple of months ago - Adam giving Mommy a "compass kiss".  I was lucky enough to be given compass kisses by my own mom many a night when I was growing up, and now I am lucky enough to get them from my boys.