Four Years Tomorrow

Last week, Adam and I had the pleasure of enjoying each other’s company on a walk through the trails at Fuller Farm, just a mile or so away from our house.  It was a spectacular autumn day, one of those gems you wish you could bottle up and save for the long, cold winter.  At first, Adam sprinted off ahead of me, a not-uncommon trend on our walks these days.  And I just hung back and watched.  I watched as he leapt over tree roots and splashed in mud puddles and turned his head to the sky at a bird’s cry.  I watched in awe and pride and humble gratitude to the universe.  I watched and wondered how-oh-how he had gotten so big.  And just like that, I was taken back to the Winter of 2008-9 - Adam’s first winter.  During my maternity leave, Adam and I would snowshoe these same trails nearly every day Ethan was at school.  I would bundle him up, strap him to my chest, and off we’d go for hours.  There were times when I questioned my parenting, whether it was healthy for a 1- or 2- or 3-month old to be out in the frigid Maine winter, miles from any road, being rhythmically jostled by his Mommy’s steps.  But he always seemed so happy on our walks - he’d alternate between closed eyes and open, alert eyes, but either way, he was quiet and still and seemingly at peace.  I would chat with him (or to him), rub his back, and kiss the top of his head, and I would, just like I did last week, thank the universe for bringing him to me.  

And now, here we are, four years later.  FOUR!  I still think of Adam as my baby, and he relishes that role.  He likes to be carried, still sucks his thumb in earnest, and doesn’t go far without Horsey (except for Horsey’s brief, unannounced vacation a few months ago).  He loves to snuggle, is happiest in his jammies, and often brings blankies and pillow pets and Horsey right down to the middle of the kitchen floor when I’m cooking dinner and asks to be tucked in.  He likes to be cozy.  In fact, he calls any pants with elastic waistbands his “cozy pants” and prefers them over button flies and zippers any day.  Once he’s all cozy, Adam loves snuggling up with a book.  He tucks himself under my arm, gets as close as he possibly can be to me, inserts his thumb, grabs my hand in his other hand, and lets out a big sigh of blissful comfort.  

But Adam is nothing if not a paradox.  Because the other side of Adam is my stubborn almost-four year old who flexes his independence muscles at every opportunity.  This Adam REFUSES to hold my hand in parking lots, forcefully insists on doing things himself, and thinks the biggest insult ever is “You’re a baby!” (or, to Mom and Dad, “You’re TWO!” - not sure why we get those extra two years, but hey).  This Adam is strong-willed, knows exactly how to get his mama’s blood pressure up, and doesn’t hesitate to push right to the limit, and then beyond...just to see what happens.  This Adam has learned that misbehavior begets attention, and doesn’t really care what sort of attention it is.  This Adam and this Mommy butt heads.  A lot.  

The good news is that after four years together, and learning to give Adam what he needs (more of my attention!), we are butting heads less.  I am really enjoying our alone time this fall, and getting to know my littlest man on a whole new level, apart from his big brother.  And I am realizing how very special my Adam is.  He continues to be the wacky kid we’ve always loved, not caring what others think and choosing instead to march to the beat of his own drummer.  I adore this trait, and I hope he never loses his self-assuredness.  But wackiness aside, Adam is also incredibly even-keeled, particularly when juxtaposed against my emotional and dramatic five year old.  Nothing much seems to phase Adam, and if it does, it won’t for long.  We had to make an unfortunate trip to the ER earlier this month for asthma compounded by croup, and while I was nearly panicking in the front seat, Adam, who could barely breathe, squeaked out “Mommy, there is a newspaper in our driveway.  I’ll remind you when we get home so you don’t run over it.”  He’s like an old soul in his calm, knowing wisdom, is steady under pressure, and has his dad’s patience.  When Ethan is melting down about not getting his way, and I’ve had to excuse myself to take a Mommy timeout, Adam will swoop in and ask Ethan what’s wrong, hug him, talk him off his cliff, and make everything right in his world.  

Our recent one-on-one time has most of all given me a window into that little brain of Adam’s that appears to be developing at warp speed.  The way he processes his surroundings, the connections he draws, the questions he asks, the clever quips he comes up with - it all blows my mind.  He’s a man of many funny sayings, my favorite these days being “Kiddin’ ya!” when he’s caught telling a fib.  At nearly four, Adam is fascinated with letters and numbers, and (I hate to say) will probably be reading before Ethan.  Like his big brother (and Daddy), he’s on a big long puzzle kick, but also loves drawing and coloring, playing kitchen or farm, chasing his brother around the house, being chased by his brother around the house, listening to books on CD, listening to “kid’s music” (especially the farm CD), playing DJ and turning on said books and music at excessive volumes, jumping on the furniture, climbing on the counters, and sneaking into the cars in the garage and pretending he’s “an adult” (sitting in the drivers’ seat).  Adam is one smart little cookie, never ceases to keep me on my parenting toes, and brings so much joy and laughter into our family.  As Ethan says all the time “he’s just so cute!”.  And he is.  Happiest fourth birthday Mini-Munch.  I love you more than I think you could ever know, my BIG boy, my four year old, my Adam.  In some ways, I wish I could rewind time and be back snowshoeing on those trails with you snuggled to my chest, but most of me is so happy to be here, hanging back, watching you sprint ahead.

 

In keeping with the tradition I started last year, here are Adam’s answers on the eve of four.  I have marked with an asterisk the answers that match last year’s (or February’s) answers.

Adam - Age 4
Height: 39 inches (+1 inch (3%) from early February)
Weight: 38 lbs (+6 lbs (19%) from early February)
Favorite color: Yellow*
Favorite toy: Dump truck
Favorite fruit: Apple
Favorite TV show: Dora*
Favorite thing to eat for lunch: Grilled cheese*
Favorite outfit: Dinosaur shirt and “kitty cat pants” (Puma pants)
Favorite game: Uno
Favorite snack: Pretzels (really?  you never ask for pretzels.  ever.  and note the asterisk.)*
Favorite animal: Dinosaur
Favorite song: Old McDonald
Favorite book: Moo, Moo Brown Cow (the farm thing is still a favorite)
Best friend: Abby*
Favorite cereal: Shredded Spoonfuls*
Favorite thing to do outside: Slide
Favorite drink: Cocktails (editor’s note: these would be the virgin variety)
Favorite holiday: Fall/Halloween*
What you take to bed at night: Horsey* and pillow pet
Favorite thing to eat for breakfast: Shredded Spoonfuls
What you want for your special birthday dinner: Eggs (really?  because that’s not what you said earlier this week and I already did the shopping/meal planning...)
What you want to be when you grow up: A construction worker